Random Gaining Qualms & XTube

On Saturday afternoon I went with my friend Scott to see the new Harry Potter movie. Scott is super-skinny and he already thinks I'm fat and should lose weight. Anyway, after purchasing my ticket and grabbing a seat I went back to the theater's concession stand and ordered a large popcorn and a large root beer. I also got a package of Reese's Pieces candy for free because I ordered a large popcorn and soda. I still haven't eaten the candy (I'm such a bad gainer).

Speaking of being a bad gainer, I'm kinda discouraged because I lost a pound. I weighed myself last night before I went to bed and again this morning and last night I weighed 192 lbs. and this morning it was 191.7? so I'm annoyed and confused. I've been eating more, but maybe not enough and I am still fairly active because my job requires a certain amount of physical exertion.

I don't know if I'm going to be as successful at gaining as I want to be because I don't like to feel TOO full and I'm still concerned with how my housemates will perceive me if I'm binging on food.

Yesterday, whenever I was in the kitchen I grabbed a few of the shortbread Christmas cookies from the cookie jar and ate them and whenever I've been in the basement I've gulped some whole milk that I bought at the store. I usually leave my refrigerated and frozen foods in the basement refrigerator/freezer because there's no room for my stuff in the upstairs one.

Later today I'm going out to get some items at the store that we need and I'm going to stop at McDonald's and order two double quarter pounders with cheese. Maybe I'll have them throw in an order of 4-piece McNuggets as well. I really want to be at 200 by Thanksgiving because a part of me wants to show my family my weight. I don't know why but I want to look fat in front of my parents. I wish I could afford a psychologist to examine why I have such a need to get bigger. I mean, I love, LOVE fat men and I want to look like them and I never really took action on my desires to gain, until now and I just hope I'm successful because I know I'll like how I look when I've reached my goals.

PS -- I was feeling in the mood so I made an XTube account and it's only for 18+ so please do not visit it if you are younger. I don't know if I'll post videos but I did post three photos of my penis. Click here if you want to check it out and feel free to add me as a friend (even if you're a woman add me because I like women too)

PSS -- I got really turned on by an old video of a gainer recording himself eating Twinkies and I think I want to make a similar video.